4th Up History

20 October 2008

When researching the history of 4th Up you find that there is no documented evidence as to their existence.  The only evidence to be found will stem from living souls.  If you are fortunate enough to engage a living member of 4th Up in conversation you will find a distinct reason for the lack of documentation.  The charter members of 4th Up tirelessly scour areas, only within their reach, for one quality trait in a prospective member.  They are looking for an overwhelming urge to maintain a "constant" state of readiness.  If the prospect does not have a compulsive disorder such that they, not knowing why, must remain perpetually ready then the charter members want nothing to do with that person.  Every member of 4th Up is considered a charter member since there exists no proof as to anyone's status.  At this point you may be wondering, what is readiness to 4th Up?  Readiness to 4th Up is defined as 100% ready.  The moment a 4th Up member feels as though his circadian rhythm falls below the predetermined subjective level of 100% he, like the Borg, must enter a sleep state.  4th Up members aspire, through osmosis, to inherit the ultimate character trait that Major Benson Winifred Payne exhibited in the documentary Major Payne.  The ability to sleep with ones eyes open would lend itself to members in maintaining our stealth.  To this day no member has achieved what we would label "Zen."  The manner in which a 4th Up member conducts himself on a daily basis is constantly being judged by other members.  Although there is an understanding that we are always under the microscope rarely will you see an on the spot correction.  This is because the effort it would take to actually bring the member "in line" could possibly violate our pledge to maintain a "constant" state of readiness.  Knowing this, members simply cannot take the risk.  Here are the tasks and conditions.

Task:  Say hello to a fellow 4th Up member
Conditions:  With arms hanging at your side offer the proper salutation

An example of a text book greeting would be:

The soldier does not make any effort to lift his arm and with minimal effort collapses the thumb and compresses it very gently into the palm of his hand.  The next sequence must be performed simultaneously or else more energy than necessary will be expended.  Make eye contact while drawing the recipients eyes down to the hand administering the greeting then extend your fingers.  If you have conducted the proper greeting the recipient will effortlessly flash four fingers back to you and nod.  If either person fails one of the steps nothing will happen due to overwhelming desire to maintain that "constant" state of readiness.  Typically if the greeting is offered within standards still nothing happens.

The contents of this document have been in the works for nearly a year.  To date this is and will most likely be the last literature ever published by the members of 4th Up.  If you wish to test for 4th Up that will never happen due to the tiring effects of administering the test. 

However we recently had a Medic, new to the unit, panic when one of the 4th Up members, unknown to him at the time, was in a "Borg" like state.  He attempted to use a defibulator on this soldier.  After several unsuccessful attempts he found a photographer to document his efforts as evidence that he did try to, what he thought was, save the individual.  He later learned that the Soldier was a member of 4th Up.  Still questioning his proficiency he used the defibulator on a soldier who is currently not a member of 4th up and his confidence was restored.  The test results are on the right.

4th Up member receiving a "GO" for the ability to sleep while being defibulated

4th Up candidate receiving a "NO GO" for the inability to sleep while being defibulated
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